"I feel whole again"

Figured it was time for me to write a sum up of my foundation year in SWYM - then I think I will start a new blog :)

Last academic year I spent 11 months in Plymstock, Plymouth doing youth work training with South West Youth Ministries (www.swym.org.uk). Even though it was a challenging year, it has also been one of my best years ever. I am so grateful that I was able to spend a whole year focusing on my personal relationship to God and be 'out there' living it out. God has done so much in my life the previous year! I have realised that when I give everything to Jesus: my short comings, problems, hidden things, hurts, people etc, He really does change lives. This year I feel I have been changed more into the person I was created to be. When I started my year I hoped that I would be able to get a step further in my healing process or I didn't know where to go anymore. This year I have gone a huge step further - above all expectation. I came to SWYM with low self confidence and self value, not much hope about my future and carrying hurts from my past. This year I have received and been a part of lots of prayer and it feels like I have given all my broken pieces to God and He has given me a new and whole heart back. In other words,

I feel whole again,

which I don't think I have felt much during my teenage years. Finally I have been able to take away all the masks I have been carrying, showing a happy girl on the outside but broken on the inside. Now I'm 'just' me - and I love it :) I have been on a journey with Jesus for quite a long time now, but it wasn't until this year I have really felt a break through and experienced his healing. Which have taught me that it all starts with a 'yes' to Jesus, and from then on He can do the work if we continually choose Him in what we do.

Still, I know that hard times will come and sometimes our past starts haunting us again and it is too easy to lose focus. But I feel a lot more equppied. Now I have finally realised that I don't get my self value from working enormously hard to get good grades or perform well, but from who I am in Christ. Because he already loves me, and have good plans for me :)